Robots Rule Us

This is my personal dumping ground. It has all sorts of things that don't belong other places. Sometimes, it has useful things.

Usually not, though.

There is no no order, implied, or otherwise, to these things.

Me on MetaCPAN

I write Perl. In fact, I managed to persuade someone to pay me to write Perl. Sucker. In any case, I've contribued some small stuff back to the community.


256 Colors with vim and GNU Screen

Here are instructions on getting your .vimrc, .screenrc, and termcap, and where to find the proper ingredients for your virgin volcano sacrifice needed to get vim inside screen to display 256 colors.

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Ranked Search Results

This tool may violate the terms of use for various search engines. This tool will, when given a search term and a domain, inform you the position the given domain appears when searching for the given term.

It was created because someone far too obsessed with SEO thought they had finally cracked Google's secret (they hadn't). It is slow. Don't use it. It took me about 3 hours to write.

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The Rite-Aid Game of Life

Back when I had a "real" job that involved sitting in a cubicle and answering calls, I was lucky enough to work for a soul-crushing organization that hadn't quite perfected the art of crushing souls and let us haul our personal computers, ipods, and other electronic secrets-stealing devices in and fiddle during downtime.

Rite-Aid had a monopoly-like game, and the last day, I got a bag full of game pieces. Naturally, my instinct was "Statistical analysis!" not "Maybe I won!" This is the result.

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A small PHP project I created because I needed to be able to progmatically create PHP classes at run time.

It is not safe.

It is not secure. And that's something coming from someone that just wrote a PHP thing that intentionally uses eval().

It lacks features.

Really, you shouldn't use this.

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Automatically Download Bing Wallpaper

I use this particular small script to download the daily wallpaper, because it's usually awesome. In combination with a cron job that looks like this:

0 9 * * * export DISPLAY=:0 && perl ~/


Doing it Serverless

The above still works (I think), but I got fancy and decided I wanted to do something fun with Lambda. I made a thing to that end. This URL: will return the URL for today's Bing wallpaper image. And this powershell script will change your wallpaper after using the above function. It uses the Windows API to handle the actual changes, and I know it works on Windows 10. It's not been tested anywhere else.

A 404 Error Page

This is embarassing. I was playing around with the Dojo Toolkit -- that's like jQuery for people that hate jQuery for no reason. It's animation. Eek.

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PicoHitler Conversion Tool

Is something really "worse than Hitler"? Now you can find out.

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